There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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