I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I skipped work to stalk him.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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