i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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