Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
honey bunches of taint.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
