I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
