what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
