i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I wish i was in the wii world.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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