I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
