In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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