No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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