i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
