dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
