Who did Billy Mays play for?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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