I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
