After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Ladies don't puke and tell
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So vagazzling was a success
Randomize
