i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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