just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
no you cant smoke seaweed
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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