I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
