physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
