Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
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