Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize