It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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