If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize