he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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