I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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