i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
