whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize