I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
