Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I think my fart just growled at me.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Congratulations! We have a period
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
