just come out here and I will go home with you...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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