I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize
