Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I intend to get homeless drunk
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
