How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Randomize
