It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
