what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
