Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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