You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
