glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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