don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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