my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
