Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
