Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
