I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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