I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize