K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
