when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize