my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize