what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Randomize
