I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
