Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
