That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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