I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
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