Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
