It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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