Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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