I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
