is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
