I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
