Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so explain again why im purple
no
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
