Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
