Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Houston, we have a squirter
Is it penis luge time yet?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
