ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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