I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
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