I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
