now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
then he tried to convert me to islam
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
