The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
