Hippo gnu deer
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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