you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
