my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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