I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
