Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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