I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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