im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
