South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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