If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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